Writing and Life Update
It’s been a hot minute since I posted on my blog. Life has been a bit of a roller coaster these last few months. Between navigating the loss of Avery (our cat), running around after an assertive 3-year-old, and working on my manuscript, I kind of forgot about this space. Or rather, updating my blog wasn’t top of mind for the last little while.
My son is the light of my life. He’s honestly one of the funniest people I know. Weekends are usually spent doing various activities together as a family or one-on-one with either Mommy (me) or Mama (my wife, Emily).
I’m back with an exciting update: I have officially finished the first draft of my manuscript! I have a lot of feelings about it … mostly excited and proud, but also a bit sad. I’ve grown really fond of my characters, their lives, and their love story. I’m going to miss hanging out with them. It sounds kind of silly, but it truly feels like I know them. Although, I guess I do since they’re based off of people I know or characters I watch on TV.
I’ve been missing Avery’s quirks so much so, in an effort to not lose them, I’ve written Avery into my manuscript. I asked Emily to read one of my chapters and her first remark was, “that’s our Avery!” Losing Avery has been extremely difficult for me. She was in our lives for almost a decade, which really was not long enough. She truly was my soul cat in every sense of the term. She cuddled with me at night, followed me around the house, sat on my lap while I worked on my writing. I feel her with me always, but it’s not the same as being able to scoop her up for a squeeze. I hope I did her justice in capturing her silly and lovable personality.
Avery editing some of my writing in 2019.
I’m also more than halfway through GCLS’s Writing Academy 2 and our mentorships have started this past week. That means I’ve sent the first 100 pages of my manuscript to my mentor. I’m equally excited and nervous to hear her thoughts about my work. I hope she enjoys my book as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.
My plans for the next couple of months are to complete some research to ensure that some of the legal jargon I’ve included in my book actually make sense and revise my work based on my mentor’s commentary. Once that’s done, I’ll start submitting my book to publishers. So, keep your fingers crossed for me.
What I’m looking forward to most, is the annual GCLS conference this summer. I’ll be flying in and spending the entirety of the conference learning from some of the greats and making new connections. I’m also looking forward to seeing friends I haven’t seen in a while and meeting friends in person for the first time. I’m also looking forward to a week off from mom duties (I know all the moms out there know what I’m talking about).
Keep an eye out for more updates to come! :)
Life update
Well, it’s been a while since I’ve written a new post or shared anything about my writing journey. So, hi! Welcome back to my website.
This year has been a bit of a whirlwind. In January, one of our three cats, Avery, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her prognosis was good — one surgery to remove her mammary glands and she’d be good as new. But because of Covid, there was a backlog of pets waiting to see the oncologist. So, the earliest appointment we could get was late March. Fast-forward to March when Avery finally gets to see the oncologist only for us to find out that the cancer is already in her lymph nodes, meaning that it’s already started to spread. With limited options at this point, we decided to start her on chemo pills at home with the prognosis that she would have about another year with us.
Well, after two months of being on chemo, her cancer stopped responding to the medication and she began coughing — a telltale sign that the cancer was now in her lungs. So for the the last two months, we’ve been giving her a low-dose steroid (on days when she’s able to eat) to help with her breathing, carrying her up and down the stairs when it looks like she needs help, and letting her roam around the backyard and enjoy as much sunshine as possible. For now, we’re enjoying what little time we have left with her and making her as happy and comfortable as possible. Just this morning, my wife made Avery some steamed lactose-free milk to enjoy while we both drank cappuccinos.
Enjoying some time outside with Avery
In the midst of all of that, I was also going through a process of getting an ADHD diagnosis. After years of being told I had anxiety and depression and being given medications that were helping to a point, but not completely, I finally found a therapist who listened and helped me get the diagnosis I’ve been missing all along. So, it turns out that my inability to sit still and commit myself to completing my book in one year isn’t a character flaw, it’s ADHD. Getting bored and frustrated while writing and giving up … ADHD. Getting distracted by my phone, our cat, that leaf blowing in the wind … ADHD. For the last few months, I’ve been working with my doctor to find the right dosage of my new medication and after some ups and downs with it (including extreme jitteriness and heart palpitations), I’m finally on a dose that feels right for me.
So, has it helped with my writing? A little bit. I decided to ease back into writing by taking a few flash fiction classes. The first was self-paced with very little interaction with other students or the instructor so that was nearly impossible for me to sit through, but I did it. The second was an amazing flash fiction class taught by Kimberly Cooper Griffin my friend Finn Burnett. That class gave me back my confidence with writing. It was so nice to learn writing techniques, share my flash pieces with my class, and hear theirs. Constructive criticism always helps me with my writing, especially when I’m feeling stumped or like it’s pointless. I even ended up submitted a few of my flash pieces to competitions.
In September, I’m braving the airport and flying Air Canada (why didn’t I choose a different airline?) to go see Finn and their wife, August, for the first time in person in BC! I’ve always wanted to visit BC, but haven’t had a chance so this will be exciting. We’re going to the Wine Country Writer’s Festival in Kelowna and then I’m heading out to Vancouver for a few days to explore on my own. It’ll be my first time away from my son since he was born so I’m sure the trip will be full of excitement and sadness.
My goals for the rest of the year are to keep writing (in some capacity) and trying to accept that there are parts of life that I cannot change so I should enjoy them while I can.
Where have I been?
A friend sent me a tik tok of someone wearing a hoodie backwards and carrying their cat in the hood. I tried it with Avery and she loved it so much that she stayed there for a good 30 minutes purring and relaxing.
It’s 2022 and where have I been? Honestly, I’ve been stressed to the max. The last two years have been difficult, but this year seems to have started with a bang.
Omicron came around full force in Ontario and we went into yet another lockdown. New provincial regulations stated the following:
no more PCR tests to the public (wtf?)
schools and daycares only need to notify parents of positive cases if 30% or more students in a class test positive for Covid (again, wtf?)
only 5 days of quarantine needed for anyone who’s fully vaccinated and children under 11 (we’re fully vaxxed and our son is almost 2, but still … wtf?)
indoor dining is closed, but guess what? you can eat outside in a snowstorm (I’m being sarcastic, but outdoor dining was and is still permitted)
Prior to the 30% rule, our daycare notified us of 2 positive cases in a different class. We held our breath as it seemed like it was just a matter of time before we heard about a positive case in our son’s class. Then the 30% rule happened and we heard nothing. Our daycare sends us photo updates throughout the day so we can see what our son is up to. Over the weeks we noticed certain little friends were missing for days at a time, sometimes upwards of a week, then one of his teachers was gone for a week. 30% of our son’s class is 4 students/teachers. We only ever noticed maybe 3 people missing at any given time.
Fast foward to mid January when our son came home with a bit of a runny nose and seemed off, overall. The next day, he was vomiting non-stop for hours. We ended up in the ER, still with no PCR test allowed and only a “yep, it’s probably Covid,” from the doctor. We left and went home. With public health protocols being so different from 2 years ago when both my son and I tested positive and received daily phone calls to ensure we were quarantining and feeling okay enough, we got no calls this time. Luckily, our family doctor is amazing and she and her team of nurses called us daily to check in and see how we were feeling.
We’ll be coming out of quarantine this Sunday (we chose to quarantine for the full 10 days, rather than 5), just in time for our son’s second birthday. I’m happy to be rid of the joint pain, headaches, and constant nausea. We have no confirmation that it was Covid, but the symptoms seem to match so we’re guessing we had it.
So yay, we’re healthy again and things seem to be going back to normal right? Mmmm, not exactly. Recently, I found a lump on one of our cats’ bellies, took her to the vet, and learned she has cancer. To say I’m devastated is an understatement. If you’re friends with me on Facebook, you’ll know we’ve gotten news that so far it seems that the cancer is operable. So in March, our baby girl, the matriarch of our little family, will be going to see an oncologist where they’ll determine if the cancer has spread and hopefully operate. Please send out some positive vibes, if you have any left.
Aside from that stressful and crappy start to the new year, I’ve taken up flash fiction. Writing has been difficult for me lately, especially writing something happy. I was inspired by my friend Finnian Burnett, an incredibly talented flash fiction writer (if you haven’t read their flash fiction, you definitely should!), so I Googled flash fiction classes and found one that started at the beginning of this month. Though I’m really missing having an actual person teach the classes, I am definitely finding some inspiration to write. I’ve written a few flash pieces that I’m really proud of, one of which I actually submitted for publication.
While 2022 hasn’t started out the way we had hoped, my wife and I are trying our best to remain positive that the rest of the year will be better. We’re keeping our fingers and toes crossed that Avery will make it through surgery and go back to living a normal and healthy life and that we remain healthy for the rest of the year.
Real talk: Mom life has made it hard to prioritize my writing
When I joined the GCLS Writing Academy in 2019, I was early in my pregnancy and I was naive about thinking that I could write my entire novel before my son was born. Writing is hard! It’s even harder when you’re just starting out.
I managed to write about six chapters that I felt proud of. During the program, each student is paired with a successful writer in the industry and I was lucky enough to be paired with none other than Georgia Beers! Holy wow! She sent me notes that have been invaluable to my novel. (Thank you, Georgia!!) Since graduating from the academy in June 2020, I have tried and tried to continue writing my novel and implementing Georgia’s feedback. Most days it feels like I’m failing.
The truth is, I have postpartum anxiety. I actually only realized that I had postpartum anxiety about a year into parenting, which is kind of wild. I assumed that all the stress and my overactive mind were all part of parenting, but it turns out that they’re not.
Postpartum anxiety has made it almost impossible to prioritize myself or my writing. I can count on one hand how many times I find time to even wash my face in the mornings during any given week. My mind is overwhelmed with a million different thoughts and worries on a daily basis. I’ve spent so much time wondering, “why am I like this? Who am I outside of being someone’s mom? Why is everyone else able to write except for me?”
Motherhood is hard and postpartum anxiety makes it harder. I’m sharing this because I think it’s important to share and hearing other moms share their struggles has helped me immensely over the last year and a half.
The truth is, moms put a lot of pressure on themselves and society puts a whole lot of pressure on moms that then turns into a whole lot of mom guilt. When I find time to write, I often find myself feeling guilty … I should be with my son instead of sitting here and writing.
With the help of a therapist and a very supportive wife, I’ve slowly been realizing that no, it’s not selfish to work on my writing. It’s important for me to prioritize myself and as my son grows up, it’ll be equally important for him to see that both his moms have followed their passions.
A friend of mine has been kind enough to offer their time to helping me with my writing and I’ve kept them waiting for a while now. I’m going to be better about writing and making time for it., even if it’s only once a week.
If you’re a mom and you’re feeling guilty about writing or you’re struggling to find time to prioritize your goals, I get it. I’m right there with you. Motherhood has shaken my identity, but I’m slowly coming back to myself and you can, too.
That Time I Hid Under a Chair When I Saw Kris Bryant
Literally, the only photo that exists of me and Kris. We were at GCLS 2019. I didn’t know what to do with myself so there you go, the most awkward photo around.
This is a story about how the most seemingly small decisions led me to Kris Bryant and how she changed my life.
If you’re reading this blog, chances are you’re a reader of lesfic, which means that you know the name Kris Bryant. She’s the writer of some of my most favourite lesbian romances and the cause of 99% of my food cravings. If you’ve read her books, you’ll know what I mean.
A little over three years ago, my wife, Emily, and I attended a meet-up with friends we had met online. When the topic of books came up, someone suggested I read Forget Me Not by Kris Bryant. I went home that night, immediately got the book, and started reading. Fast-forward to a couple weeks later and I had read all of Kris Bryant’s books. I was hooked and waiting for more titles.
A few months later, that same year, Emily and I were heading down to ClexaCon for the premiere of her first short film at the ClexaCon film festival. She had downloaded the ClexaCon app and was looking through the panels that were being offered and found a books panel featuring none other than Kris Bryant herself. To say I was excited was an understatement.
I had just finished reading Listen and thought, “ok why don’t I tweet about how much I love this book and how excited I am to see Kris at ClexaCon?” I tagged Kris in the tweet and took a nap for the remainder of my train ride home from work. When I got home I noticed that not only had Kris liked my tweet, she had responded, followed me on Twitter, and said we should meet up. I was fangirling HARD.
At ClexaCon, true to her word, Kris messaged and said she would be at Emily’s film screening. When Kris walked in, I recognized her long blonde hair immediately, and I hid under a chair. Am I exaggerating? Nope. I was terrified to meet Kris. I was such a huge fan of her work and was also just about the most awkward person when it came to first meetings.
Luckily for me, Emily is incredibly supportive and urged me to go say hello. After all, Kris did come to support my wife and meet us. After an awkward and probably clammy handshake (on my part), I was sandwiched between my wife and Kris Bryant. The Kris Bryant. I was sweating! After the screening, Kris and I talked about books, work, pets, you name it. I told her my dream was to be a writer and she encouraged me to pursue it. After signing two of her books for us, she said I should message her sometime to talk about writing.
Now, I’m not a very forward person and amazing things don’t often happen to me, but this was amazing. I knew I had to take Kris up on her offer. After getting home, I messaged her and we hit it off.
True to her word, Kris read some of my writing and again urged me to write. I wrote out a plan for a book that had been floating around my head for years and started working on it. I had a few phone calls with Kris, she read through a couple of my chapters, and even offered suggestions. She won’t admit to it, but she was my first mentor and continues to be one of my biggest cheerleaders.
Kris later sent me information about the GCLS Writing Academy and encouraged me to apply. I did and I got in! I spent the most amazing year learning from my classmates as well as some of the absolute best writers out there. I’m talking Radclyffe, Penny Mickelbury, Melissa Brayden, Ann Roberts, Kareila Stetz-Walters, and so many more. Georgia Beers was assigned as my mentor, which meant she read my chapters and offered me invaluable suggestions that changed how I looked at my writing and characters. I’m lucky to still be in touch with my classmates, many of whom I call my friends.
So what started with a meeting with new friends, ended in a life-changing experience that is now taking me one step closer to my dreams of being a published author. I feel so grateful to Kris. Her encouragement and kindness helped me on this path. Without her, I wouldn’t be publishing my first short story in the GCLS Anthology this summer or feeling confident that someone out there will want to read my book. Kris, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
A Big Hello!
My name is Kat Daniels and among other things, I’m a recent GCLS Writing Academy graduate.
Avesy, the cuddle bug.
Hi there! Since this is my first blog post on my fancy new website, I thought I would take the opportunity to introduce myself.
My name is Kat Daniels and among other things, I’m a recent GCLS Writing Academy graduate. In some ways, I feel like I’ve always been writing. When I was younger, it would be silly poems or stories about my cat, which eventually turned into short stories, and now I’m working on my first novel — a lesbian romance set in Iceland.
I studied English and Professional Writing in university and eventually went on to get my MA in English Literature. For a hot minute, I thought I would be an English professor until I realized that would mean another few years of school and no guarantees on actually getting a job in the province I lived in (in case you were wondering, yes, I am Canadian).
I love writing. It’s always felt cathartic to get all my feelings written down and writing a book has always been something I’ve wanted to do. I’m so glad I took the plunge and finally started working on it.
I squeeze in writing whenever I can, although these days, that’s usually during my sons’ naptimes or after he goes to bed. My wife, son, and our three rescue cats are my little family. We’re a pretty boring bunch, most days, but sometimes we get a little wild and have friends over for poker nights, though that hasn’t happened in well over a year now. Thanks, Covid.
I’m hoping to use this space to write updates about my writing and life in general. Let’s connect on social media and get to know each other better.
Thanks for stopping by!