Real talk: Mom life has made it hard to prioritize my writing
When I joined the GCLS Writing Academy in 2019, I was early in my pregnancy and I was naive about thinking that I could write my entire novel before my son was born. Writing is hard! It’s even harder when you’re just starting out.
I managed to write about six chapters that I felt proud of. During the program, each student is paired with a successful writer in the industry and I was lucky enough to be paired with none other than Georgia Beers! Holy wow! She sent me notes that have been invaluable to my novel. (Thank you, Georgia!!) Since graduating from the academy in June 2020, I have tried and tried to continue writing my novel and implementing Georgia’s feedback. Most days it feels like I’m failing.
The truth is, I have postpartum anxiety. I actually only realized that I had postpartum anxiety about a year into parenting, which is kind of wild. I assumed that all the stress and my overactive mind were all part of parenting, but it turns out that they’re not.
Postpartum anxiety has made it almost impossible to prioritize myself or my writing. I can count on one hand how many times I find time to even wash my face in the mornings during any given week. My mind is overwhelmed with a million different thoughts and worries on a daily basis. I’ve spent so much time wondering, “why am I like this? Who am I outside of being someone’s mom? Why is everyone else able to write except for me?”
Motherhood is hard and postpartum anxiety makes it harder. I’m sharing this because I think it’s important to share and hearing other moms share their struggles has helped me immensely over the last year and a half.
The truth is, moms put a lot of pressure on themselves and society puts a whole lot of pressure on moms that then turns into a whole lot of mom guilt. When I find time to write, I often find myself feeling guilty … I should be with my son instead of sitting here and writing.
With the help of a therapist and a very supportive wife, I’ve slowly been realizing that no, it’s not selfish to work on my writing. It’s important for me to prioritize myself and as my son grows up, it’ll be equally important for him to see that both his moms have followed their passions.
A friend of mine has been kind enough to offer their time to helping me with my writing and I’ve kept them waiting for a while now. I’m going to be better about writing and making time for it., even if it’s only once a week.
If you’re a mom and you’re feeling guilty about writing or you’re struggling to find time to prioritize your goals, I get it. I’m right there with you. Motherhood has shaken my identity, but I’m slowly coming back to myself and you can, too.
